I am reminded constantly of something my grandmother always said:
"No good deed goes unpunished".
I am straining my brain to try to remember if I've ever felt taken advantage of, begged upon (in the manner discussed here where a friend of a friend asks for something either to bring down or leave behind when I go) and I honestly can't think of a thing. I've enjoyed my friendships with my many Jamaican friends treating them to gifts when I can, receiving gifts from them when they can...and no one over-reaching or asking for anything. Sure, I'll reach out to see what someone might need for me to bring and if there is a need it is never over the top (i.e., can you bring me a pair of simple shoes, not $200 Nikes).
Have I been begged upon on the street? Oh, you bet. I have been approached to buy just about everything from a seashell to an ounce of cocaine...and the answer is always the same - no thank you+smile. When I'm in Negril I truly do not sweat the small stuff...the same kind of "buy me a beer", "give me 100J", "give me a cigarette" rolls off my back like water on a duck there....in San Francisco while I'm outside TRYING to enjoy a cigarette and having someone ask me for something 7 times in 5 minutes I get grouchy. Doesn't mean I'm never going back there. It is what it is.
I think I've learned to affect change where I can and to let it go when I can't. These days there are some things about Negril that are simply not going to change. But because I love it there, I love my friends and community there to me, at this time, not returning is not an option. I try really hard not to let the little stuff get to me and minimize my exposure to the more irritating stuff.