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+--- Thread: Advice Needed Please! (/showthread.php?tid=100066)
RE: Advice Needed Please! - Tanfastic - 03-06-2014
Roostwoman thoughts, prayers and strength sent to you today during this time of need/question/situation. Prayer or meditation to your higher being will guide you to make the right decision once the story has been verified. Peace be with you and your daughter.
RE: Advice Needed Please! - Venusdelondon - 03-08-2014
Oh My! What a tangled web we weave.
I read your dilemma last night and because I have so much faith in you I thought "oh well it will all come out in the wash" and went to sleep.
I woke up at the crack of dawn this morning, eyes wide open and you on my mind. So here I am, coffee, two pennies and all.....
Have faith in your daughter, you and her life experiences (and it sounds like she has had a few) have sculpted her into the wonderful and strong woman she is today. Of course we want to protect our children, but alas there comes a time when we can only support them. Your daughter has come through the loss of a young man she loved and she will come through this.
This young girl has reached out to your daughter, for good or bad, and time alone will tell her motives. It will all eventually come to light. Shit floats, you dont need to go digging around for it. Give the young lady the benefit of the doubt, she deserves it, look at the beautiful photos, she was obviously at one time a significant person in your lives. You cant judge a person by a national passtime, that would be like me saying "oh she's American so she's bound to be in therapy!" or you saying "Quick! Hide the alcohol the British are coming".
Your daughter has to make a decision - whether she wants to have the child in her life or not - and if she decides she does, well it will be for the good, the bad and the ugly, she cant choose. Be there for both of them, support them and encourage them to take baby steps, a little bit at a time.....but hey Lovely Lady, you know all this, you are understandably just a bit anxious...dont fret...it will all come out in the wash.
I am sure there will come a time when you will need to remind me of my own words, but in the meantime...
Keep the faith and Love Everytime : -) <3 x x
RE: Advice Needed Please! - jitterbug - 03-08-2014
sitting on my fingers here . . . the young lady did state she is not looking for money . . . it's hard for us foreigners to take ja ppl at face value because of all the s h i t we've all heard when it comes to jamaicans and their woe stories . . . i'm on the fence on this one . . . rootswoman, support your daughter with caution and a closed purse.
RE: Advice Needed Please! - Angel - 03-08-2014
I've started and deleted a few times regarding this. Somethings that were said are questionable and no answers yet. So ((((hugs)))) to rootswoman and her daughter.
RE: Advice Needed Please! - macyoder - 03-14-2014
Wow, I think I am lost for words.
I think I will start with this, sometimes the heart is willing but the flesh/pocket book is weak. Without knowing if this story is true, the fact is, this child has already lost more than most of us can imagine. First her dad then her hopes of living in America and calling RW grandma. Jamaica is a hard place to survive and today if she doesn't need anything, tomorrow she might very well. Not good or bad, just is. This is not say someone has it to give and therefore she needs to understand NOT poor doesn't mean rich.
Something was started with this child that most single parent fear when a relationship doesn't work out. I am very conflicted because this child had to deal with the death of the parent, the lost and love of a mother plus grandma figure. My advise is to listen because you have already impacted this child's life. She may need something in the future, so be ready to be honest.
RE: Advice Needed Please! - kaycee - 03-15-2014
Not quite sure what to say. I would listen and observe for the moment...
RE: Advice Needed Please! - oldtimer - 03-15-2014
It's a hard call but "players " use all the fuel they have. !!! Just because a little bunny is cute a lion will still rip it apart with no thought whatsoever except for the meal at the end. BE VERY < VERY careful !!! a pair of shoes can soon turn into a big let down ,heartache , mistrust , rip-off or the right thing. The burden of guilt is a heavy anchor . Having friends in Jamaica is like playing the stock market ,don't invest anything either monetary or emotionally that you can't afford to lose !!!
RE: Advice Needed Please! - macyoder - 03-15-2014
RW, here is another take on this situation. No matter what, your daughter could be in a much more trying situation than answering a call or proving a few dollars. Let's fast forward, this unfortunate incident happened after they migrated to the States with the child. Now she is the legal guardian with ALL the responsibilities of raising the child. In the state of California it's a $20K per year to send a child to a state university. The US government thinks not poor = RICH enough to pay. Of course there is the option not to pay, send her home, but again not an easy decision.
RW, I am feeling this because I would want to call you grandma. However, I will settle for friend. Much love and all the best working through this one.
RE: Advice Needed Please! - rootswoman - 03-15-2014
What wonderful heartfelt responses. It means a lot.
I am just sitting back right now.
I have not heard anything back from the messages I sent - Hopefully I will but you know Jamaican "friends" and Jamaica - I knew the answer wouldn't come overnight.
I am leaving this up to my daughter, who has a lot of common sense. While she snuck behind my back and signed up to send money to an orphan when she was 9 - she has gone through enough of her own hardships since to know what she can and can't afford. I am feeding her all the words of wisdom (and All of your are helping add to that!) I can and she totally "gets it"
She sent her some phone credit and spoke with her briefly but that's the last I heard.
Ok update - she said she talked to her briefly, she has been sick the past few days, she said she is using her aunts phone and really needs her own. We know! Red Flag! It could be the beginning of a slippery slope. However what if the poor kid's mom is in a coma?
My reply to daughter was , well we have lots of old phones - maybe you can get one unlocked. (its probably cheaper to buy one there - i know i bought one for 35-40 bucks - than to unlock and ship) She said "I'm too busy for this!"
So, nothing new - its pretty frustrating for her -i guess time will tell.
Has anyone unlocked those old phones and brought them down or is that not really doable?
RE: Advice Needed Please! - kaycee - 03-15-2014
I have brought many old unlocked phones down. I have 3 I recently got off of ebay, all they need is a SIM card and credit. On my last trip, I got my galaxy unlocked in less than 10mins...how is she too busy for that?? If she really wants a phone, she would find time to do so.