[macyoder]

http://jamaica-gleaner.com/gleaner/20140929/cleisure/cleisure5.html

"Ironically, I know several dark skinned Jamaicans who are married to foreign Caucasians who have no problem with their complexion, while they would be rejected by some of their own fellow black Jamaicans for being "too black".

[Raine]

This happens in my maternal family also, the Caucasian side loves me because I am family, niece, granddaughter, cousin etc. the black side loves me because I look white. My Mom says they will never change so just leave them to their thinking. My maternal grandmother will make remarks like I don't like black people and she is black skin when I asked her why she hates herself she says I doan hate myself, told her what she said she shut up and could not explain when I pressed her for an explanation.

[Likkle Red]

When my children were born it was a big deal to their grandmother that my daughter had "good" hair and that my son had nappy hair! She always pointed that fact out to relatives and to her friends.

[goldilocks]

I am blessed with a (grown) girl who is more her father's complexion and a son who has my complexion, except he has brown eyes instead of blue. Both of them are beautiful, if I do say so myself. Jah Creation! They are truly multicultural, but I got a lot of flack because the boy came out light. We have witnessed a lot of discrimination, mostly from Black family members. Some ignorant folks (of any color) would just come straight out with the n-word, poor things.

[Likkle Red]

I hear you Goldilocks, my daughter is light skinned as well and I used to hear when she was young that she was too white! My son on the other hand was very dark skinned and folks always asked if he was mine! Either way, I agree they are all beautiful! My children are grown now, but I remember them coming home from school in tears from unpleasant comments...broke my heart!

[macyoder]

You can can truly relate.

[Allan]

It is a complicated subject, and a truly regrettable aspect of human nature. My maternal grandfather was a horrible racist. Again, a black man who despised black people. Go figure. I cannot justify the time and energy spent on skin colour and hair texture. They SO do not define who you are. It is an accident of birth, and I wish more people could just get over it. I heard an interesting statement that I believe can be applied to racists: 'When an idiot acts like an idiot, all is right in the world.' On one hand are some black people bleaching and straightening, and on the other are some white people tanning and perming, and getting the beesting lip look. The grass is greener on the other side of the fence, perhaps? We have no control over hurtful people, so I believe we need to work with our kids to develop confidence, and not take to heart the cruel words. (Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will really hurt me) Also anger management and people skills to deal with difficult people.

[Schuttzie]

Agreed, Allan!

[Likkle Red]

i so agree with you Alan. I always told my children to consider the source when kids and adults said unkind things. My children were well educated and mannered and went far in life. I lost my son at 16, but he was on his way to doing great things. My daughter is a bio medical engineer and is happily married and mother of two. It is not the color of their skin or the texture of their hair that makes a person a responsible and loving adult.

[macyoder]

Yeah, I agree Allen, complicated and at times seems to be hidden in the open. For those it touches it unforgettable but for those unaffected complete denial of the existence.

I was raised as a blackie/too dark but evolved into a person who accepts my color as a description not something that defines me. Especially with kids, I look back and think what a tragedy to be raised not seeing the beauty within yourself and in the mirror. I think there is a difference between bleaching and tanning because bleaching is often done for acceptable by people who look just like you.

For years I would ask my hubby what did his grandmother (born and bred Missouri) say about him marrying a black women. For about 10 years, he smiled and said she was fine, happy I found someone that I love. Year 15, I asked again and he said, she thought you were pretty and nice but not your fault that I was black. I replied damn, that's what my grandfather thought, expect it was black and fass. She was one of the most loving person I have ever met who raised a daughter (my mother-in-law) to be a woman who has inspired me. Ok, the grandson has put up with me for close to 30 years.