10-15-2014, 02:45 PM
awhhhh you guys are making me blush
Thank you so much
I am warmed to the bone as you are reminding me about how I used to feel about my Mother. She was the Mom that everyone could talk to. Even our friends could go to her with their problems, when they couldn't talk to their own parents.
The answer to your question about what I do is Westenders is- I am still looking!
I am a hopeless case.
I discovered I am what they call a "Highly Sensitive Person" (look it up if you want to learn more - some of you may be one too) It makes life really hard
I was gifted with an over abundance of empathy - it is what most HSP regard as their biggest strength. The problem with it for me is that the empathy comes without any filters. I can't turn it off. So while it is my biggest strength - it is also my biggest burden.
I have a bachelors in social work and am just 10 credits short on having my masters degree. I learned during my internships in grad and undergrad that my problem was, I could not turn it off. I could not stop feeling and worrying about my clients. While my empathy allows me to deeply understand suffering, the ability to "walk in the others shoes" also includes "feeling" others pain. I suffer right there with them and I cant shake it. I tried to fight it and "grow a thick skin" but nothing changes who I am - and that is a deeply feeling person.
Two of the teenage girls, I was working with in a residential facility, committed suicide. That was during my first internship. During another, I had a new suicidal teenager and I found myself going down with her. My inability to help her caused me so much depression that my whole life started falling apart. I ended up leaving my Masters program ,where I was always an A student, before flunking out.
That was more than ten years ago. Ive been struggling with what to do ever since.
Before social work school I worked in the restaurant business. I studied French cooking and have a grande diploma from the Cordon Blue in Paris. (For whatever that is worth). I opened a restaurant in Greece with my daughters Greek father. (I had an inheritance as my parent passed when I was in my early twenties) It was lovely and fairly successful but it was on a remote island and for personal reasons I needed to leave my X and return to the USA . I chose to leave my inheritance behind and take my daughter to raise on my own.
So, after the social work career fell apart I worked various jobs while trying to decide what to do next. I spent a few years kicking around until i eventually stared a program in interior design.
I did that for a couple of years but was simultaneously watching that field slowly dry up. Between the failing economy and the "do it yourself" decorating now available on TV and the internet, the field has become real hard to break into. Furthermore - its all done on computers now and I found computer aided drafting to not be my strength.
My partner was transferred to Oregon for work at the same time that my interior deign program was being closed down in Long Beach. I came up here and saw very little work in the field. During the recession, many designers lost their jobs, so when any jobs do come up many people are in line and they have experience and more computer skills.
I currently work from home selling vintage stuff on Ebay and that is fun, and I do well at times, but it's not enough.
Well I wrote this condensed version of my life story in hope it would help me to find my path. I really appreciate your comments above as I have been struggling a lot and it is wonderful to be reminded of what I believe is my biggest strength. I've always wished that I could find a way to use it in a productive and helpful way.
Thank you so much
I am warmed to the bone as you are reminding me about how I used to feel about my Mother. She was the Mom that everyone could talk to. Even our friends could go to her with their problems, when they couldn't talk to their own parents.
The answer to your question about what I do is Westenders is- I am still looking!
I am a hopeless case.
I discovered I am what they call a "Highly Sensitive Person" (look it up if you want to learn more - some of you may be one too) It makes life really hard
I was gifted with an over abundance of empathy - it is what most HSP regard as their biggest strength. The problem with it for me is that the empathy comes without any filters. I can't turn it off. So while it is my biggest strength - it is also my biggest burden.
I have a bachelors in social work and am just 10 credits short on having my masters degree. I learned during my internships in grad and undergrad that my problem was, I could not turn it off. I could not stop feeling and worrying about my clients. While my empathy allows me to deeply understand suffering, the ability to "walk in the others shoes" also includes "feeling" others pain. I suffer right there with them and I cant shake it. I tried to fight it and "grow a thick skin" but nothing changes who I am - and that is a deeply feeling person.
Two of the teenage girls, I was working with in a residential facility, committed suicide. That was during my first internship. During another, I had a new suicidal teenager and I found myself going down with her. My inability to help her caused me so much depression that my whole life started falling apart. I ended up leaving my Masters program ,where I was always an A student, before flunking out.
That was more than ten years ago. Ive been struggling with what to do ever since.
Before social work school I worked in the restaurant business. I studied French cooking and have a grande diploma from the Cordon Blue in Paris. (For whatever that is worth). I opened a restaurant in Greece with my daughters Greek father. (I had an inheritance as my parent passed when I was in my early twenties) It was lovely and fairly successful but it was on a remote island and for personal reasons I needed to leave my X and return to the USA . I chose to leave my inheritance behind and take my daughter to raise on my own.
So, after the social work career fell apart I worked various jobs while trying to decide what to do next. I spent a few years kicking around until i eventually stared a program in interior design.
I did that for a couple of years but was simultaneously watching that field slowly dry up. Between the failing economy and the "do it yourself" decorating now available on TV and the internet, the field has become real hard to break into. Furthermore - its all done on computers now and I found computer aided drafting to not be my strength.
My partner was transferred to Oregon for work at the same time that my interior deign program was being closed down in Long Beach. I came up here and saw very little work in the field. During the recession, many designers lost their jobs, so when any jobs do come up many people are in line and they have experience and more computer skills.
I currently work from home selling vintage stuff on Ebay and that is fun, and I do well at times, but it's not enough.
Well I wrote this condensed version of my life story in hope it would help me to find my path. I really appreciate your comments above as I have been struggling a lot and it is wonderful to be reminded of what I believe is my biggest strength. I've always wished that I could find a way to use it in a productive and helpful way.