09-02-2014, 01:30 PM
Oh Dear,
Winnie, I am so sorry.
I just can't imagine how that must feel as a parent.
When my daughter was 16, her boss of two years (and family friend for several years - he helped teach her to drive and and was planning on bringing her on a university tour, being a professor himself) was caught videotaping the kids in the employee restroom.
Her tapes happened to be the "most graphic" of the employees. We lived in a fairly small beach community in Maine and the popular, historical, seaside business was a local landmark for over 100 years. The story hit mainstream news and her entire High School knew about it.
All I could do was bring her to counseling. I am sure it helped, but its true that things were never the same.
Its so hard as a parent, you try to do all the right things, but you cant always protect them.
I often feel as hard as that was on her, I may be the one who it affected the hardest.
I went through severe depression after that, blaming myself .(I was a single Mother) I fell apart and dropped out of Grad school. (where I was working with suicidal teens and it was just too much for me) I know that was really hard for my daughter - it was a double whammy for her. I sure wish I could have gone back and redone her senior year of High School. I wish I had been better equipped, but who is equipped for that?
My heart reaches out to you both Winnie and Westenders, I don't really know, but I kind of know, how hard it can be. I realized today that I needed help as much as my daughter. I had been in therapy, but things were going well and had terminated the year before that incident happened. After that happened I let everything fall apart and had a hard time getting out of bed. If I could do it over, I know now, that I should have spent time talking to someone and forgiving myself. I was so worried about my daughter that I lost perspective on how much my own depression was hurting her.
I share my story as a reminder to please take care of yourselves - I cant go back and change anything but I sure wish I could...
Winnie, I am so sorry.
I just can't imagine how that must feel as a parent.
When my daughter was 16, her boss of two years (and family friend for several years - he helped teach her to drive and and was planning on bringing her on a university tour, being a professor himself) was caught videotaping the kids in the employee restroom.
Her tapes happened to be the "most graphic" of the employees. We lived in a fairly small beach community in Maine and the popular, historical, seaside business was a local landmark for over 100 years. The story hit mainstream news and her entire High School knew about it.
All I could do was bring her to counseling. I am sure it helped, but its true that things were never the same.
Its so hard as a parent, you try to do all the right things, but you cant always protect them.
I often feel as hard as that was on her, I may be the one who it affected the hardest.
I went through severe depression after that, blaming myself .(I was a single Mother) I fell apart and dropped out of Grad school. (where I was working with suicidal teens and it was just too much for me) I know that was really hard for my daughter - it was a double whammy for her. I sure wish I could have gone back and redone her senior year of High School. I wish I had been better equipped, but who is equipped for that?
My heart reaches out to you both Winnie and Westenders, I don't really know, but I kind of know, how hard it can be. I realized today that I needed help as much as my daughter. I had been in therapy, but things were going well and had terminated the year before that incident happened. After that happened I let everything fall apart and had a hard time getting out of bed. If I could do it over, I know now, that I should have spent time talking to someone and forgiving myself. I was so worried about my daughter that I lost perspective on how much my own depression was hurting her.
I share my story as a reminder to please take care of yourselves - I cant go back and change anything but I sure wish I could...