[Debra]

Greetings All,

I was surprised to see in the retirement thread, that some of you have lost a child, a husband, a brother and loved ones. My Condolances to (((ALL OF YOU))). Jah Bless the LIVING and LIFE.

I too have lost many loved ones from early in my life. My Grandmother was 1st, when I was 11 years old. My BF was 17 and I was 16, when he got hit by a car on his suped up harley. My daughters Father and the real Love of My life died when I was 24. She and I have never been the same......The hurt, pain, and shattered heart will always be there. That one was the hardest for me, next to my Parents.

I lost my Father to Cancer of the bones in 1990 after 3 years of watching him suffer. I lost my Mother in 2000. Very sad story.

I had a good home growing up.....

That was the home I lived in for 14 years. I loved that house, Parents owned it free & clear and Grandma lived upstairs. After she died we remolded it and slept upstairs and had downstairs and a full basement, Parents, Myself and my Brother Russell. He will not speak to me since Mother died . His Loss and Mine.

Then we moved here...

At 1st I was afraid of the darkness at night. I was used to the big city lights. But eventally I got used to it, but I moved back to Chicago, in my 20's.

Here are some Pictures My Mother, Father, and thier Mothers on thier wedding day, in Colorado....

I have found that the good memories and time heal wounds...

I am very gratefull to Jah EACH & EVERYDAY, that I wake up, and have LIFE, left in me.
Yes I am getting older and I sure do NOT feel good everyday, BUT I make the most of it and keep on truckin baby! I have a clean heart, with no malice. That would make me sick. I turn it over to Jah, let go and let Jah.....I am not one to hold a grudge, it kills my insides! So yet I LIVE and I LOVE LIFE!

No one ever taught me life was going to be easy....in fact just the opposite, work hard, things might not always go your way, do your best, be kind to those that are kind to You, DJ, as my Father taught me. Some of the best times were sitting and talking to my Father, Mother in my life.

Today I am going to make the most of what I have and going to live my day to it's fullest!

I am going to do the best that I can, because that is the best I can do.......

What are some of your thoughts on Life & Death? I found it to be a great relief, when I share......Please share Your feelings, thoughts, happiness, sorrows. WHY?
Because I CARE ABOUT THE MEMBERS OF THIS FORUM!!!!! Sharing helps, Bless..

[Schuttzie]

You had such a beautiful home growing up with the turret style in the front! Thank you, Debra for sharing your painful losses and lovely of you to be so open. Yes, we all have had losses and learn to move forward, that life is always moving forward. Life is about loving, sharing, learning, and teaching. I feel death is not a permanent end all thing, it is just a different state of being or existence. Jah's spirit is alive and in everything.

I have lost loved ones growing up and one that made an impression was my grandpa. I was angry, angry, and wouldn't let the pastor talk to me (I was about 10) or "pretend" he knew what I was feeling. Poor guy I lost my sister about six years ago. We were close in ages and in friendship. She went through horrible years of pain and suffering since she was a junior in HS and died at 41. She had kidney failure young and ended up with 3 different transplants, one from my mom and one from my brother. She had every complication known on the books and was basically an 85yr. in her young body. Her passing was very difficult for me and I didn't take time to grieve and went back to work the day after her burial. I'd cry everyday to/from work and into my pillow each night. But she is no longer in pain and sometimes I feel her spirit around me My mother's health and my brother's health are deteriorating fast so I expect to lose them soon. My brother is only 15 months younger than me at 47. But it is life and death so we keep going forward.

~ Debra ~ wrote: I am very gratefull to Jah EACH & EVERYDAY, that I wake up, and have LIFE, left in me. Yes I am getting older and I sure do NOT feel good everyday, BUT I make the most of it and keep on truckin baby! I have a clean heart, with no malice. That would make me sick. I turn it over to Jah, let go and let Jah.....I am not one to hold a grudge, it kills my insides! So yet I LIVE and I LOVE LIFE!

[''

I love this! I feel this way absolutely! You have such a wonderful spirit and outlook, lovely lady~ Many blessings~

[rastagirl777]

Timely...

...I just found out a few minutes ago about a friend that just died

And I'm no stranger to loss, throughout my life - my mother is a holocaust survivor so I'm surrounded with the ghosts of a family I'll never know.

But as I stated in the other thread, this is why I believe life should be lived in the now...and to the fullest.

I believe the friend I just lost lived that way. Gone too soon, I know sooner than she would have liked. She will be missed.

And...what if the Mayans are right?

[rastagirl777]

"Irie rastagirl7777, My condolences to you, for the friend that you lost. I certainly did not mean it to be 'timely' like that."
Oh - no, no, no, no! It was pretty wild, I read the note about my friend passing, then flipped over here - and there was your post. Kismet? Fate? I dunno - I get goosebumps when I think of it and was actually uplifted, it was almost as if you knew I needed an "internet" hug.

"I've lost some friends, it is like I buried them, even though they are still alive."
Yeah, me too. In some ways - that's worse....

[Tim]

I was only 26 when I lost my mom, almost 20 yrs ago. I still think of her often, have shed gallons of tears. I was a true "mama's boy" and I would give anything just to see her again.
A very true story - a few years ago I was woken up by someone touching my back. There was nobody there but I had a very deep feeling about her at that exact moment.

Then 2 years ago my Dad died. He had a hard life, was a pretty heavy drinker although after he was diagnosed with diabetes a little after my mom died he really slowed down and began walking and watching his diet. At 80 years old he danced the night away at my wedding, and was walking 2 miles every day, twice a day. He could have passed for late 60's easily then then he started to not feel great and was losing weight. Eventually his POS doctor figured out he had lung cancer. 2 months later I ended up taking to the hospital as his mind was starting to fail him, as well as his body. He never left the hospital after that and we lost him 2 days before Christmas 2010.

I miss them both terribly.

[Angel]

Donna sorry your friend passed away whole you were gone, but at least you had a conversation with her before you left on your trip and did go. Sophie don't know why but some people do shed tears more than others, nothing wrong so keep on doing it. I will not tell anyone what you said here. Sorry to hear your brother was murdered. Just because someone dies don't think we forget them they are in our thoughts. Then there are some people in life that are not nice and wish they would drop dead. Oops! Well ((( hugs))) to all who have lost a loved one.

[Sundowner]

I'm so sorry for everyone's losses. Sophie, I can relate. When my cat, Chica, died, I spent days sobbing and missing my dad - he died on my 10th birthday, so many, many years ago, but it brought it all back. I still miss him even though I never got to know him as an adult.

Lost my mom when I was 38, then the downward spiral began. Within six months, my ex, my brother-in-law and a coworker, all committed suicide. After that, another ex and a close friend both died suddenly. In 2006 I lost my dear sister and best friend. Over the last three years two close friends died of cancer on the same day. One of them I swear I have been in contact with (also my sister, both via birds - another story). Also my son's father died of cancer during this same period. He was alone, living in another province, and my son and I had to make the arrangements. It was really hard on my son, as he hadn't seen him for some time and was planning a visit within days of his death.

Last week I found out another friend passed. You never get used to the empty, hollow feeling when you lose someone you care about. As we age, we realize how immortal we all are. I give thanks every morning that I'm still here and in reasonably good health.

[Sophie]

Geez- We are certainly a pitiful bunch of cry babies huh? By god I think every once in a great while we deserve to wallow in it----YEP a nice big pity party for alla we!! Can we have balloons? Cake? Ohhhhhh boy- I like cake! Picture it- a nice big party with cake and balloons and we just sit around and blubber-LOL

Loops------ I'm so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful baby. The pet losses are sometimes even harder because some people give you the "It was just a pet" look. Of course those are the people who need to fear for their safety

Donna- so sorry you lost a friend.

Sundowner- So sorry for all of your losses.

Everyone who has ever had a loss---so sorry.