I was told on my last trip that Women who don't have babies are worthless.

This was during a conversation with a friend's brother and his questioning my husband and I on why we have chosen not to have children. After me standing my ground and explaining our reasons (lack of money, lack of time, a little bit of selfishness, lack of patience)the only response was "well this girl here (the woman sitting next to me)is 20 and she has one".

So what gives? and just because we don't want children doesn't make ME worthless. I could have screamed! but it would have done no good...

This comment has weighed on my mind since I've returned. I just don't understand it. No matter how much good in the world I try to do...I'm still considered worthless!?!

**Keep in mind this was only one man who said this to me and I've never heard it from anyone else in JA. Usually it's just "when you gonna have babies?"

Any thoughts on this?

Sadly, I believe a lot of Jamaicans feel that way. I have seen and heard it first hand. But in my case, they usually show some sympathy when they know it wasn't by my choice.

Jeannie I have to ask one question was this the first time sitting and reasoning with Jamaicans, and where any Jamaican women involved in the conversation (operative word being, INVOLVED)?

It's not the way you are thinking of it. I am Jamaican and in my late 20's I was college graduate, own my own home, car and a flourishing career but no husband or kids. Every F^&^^ conversation was, she doesn't have a baby. I did not have a man either but it did not matter. I needed that baby to be complete.
Someone when as far to say I was barren and God took away my womb (breeding bag)

You have to understand there was a time kids were the only things many Jamaicans have of their own.
To lack this meant you lack value, assets, someone to take care of you in your old age.

Yup you are worthless, ask 100 people on the island and most of them will agree. You are defective and your husband is an idiot to stay with you. What man wants a woman that can't give him kids by the age of 20?

On the same note, ask 100 people here about people not supporting their baby mothers and you will get other opinions.

Oh....thumbs up for not having kids until you are ready! I have many friends who don't have kids for many reasons...they take shit for it but it's their choice.

Hopefully you understood that my first statement was not my own thoughts...

~ jeannieb ~ wrote:

'I was told on my last trip that Women who don't have babies are worthless. '

~ jeannieb ~ wrote:

'Any thoughts on this?'

It's a sad state of livity in Jamaica. Barren=BAD.

We had a long thread on this, but I can not remember the title. Maybe someone else does and post a link to it. It explained much of the cultural beliefs.
I could go on. I will wait though as others may have the link to the thread.

On the news last night there was a woman who wrote a book here in the USA. I think the title was "Not Because I Can't, But Because I Don't want To. I think it was NBC @ 5:30 w/Lester Holt. I'm not 100% on the title. Women are choosing careers, husbands, travel, over having a baby. One thing she said was, she got bugged about grandchildren from hers and his parents. Many couples are decideing to for go having children, more than ever before here.

It's not only Jamaica that feels this way about thier women. India, Mexico and many other countries have the same belief, No Child, No Good. Plain Pity!