What a thread - guns to the head - overdose - suicide -
very sad and so very real.
My heart goes out to you guys - there aren't words that can make any of this better.
((((((((Suzen)))))))) - I am so so sorry about your brother - I can't imagine what you are dealing with - it was so very recent - I know suicide is the worst thing a family can go through - everyone is left feeling - if only..... but the reality is, his pain was to great for this world. I don't believe he would be gone if he were meant to be here. I have lost a lot of loved ones, I know everyone says this, but time is a healer. It will get easier - but it will take time. You will never stop missing him but you will be able to feel happy again - one day. The pain will lessen - the void will always be there but you will be able to live with it.
LBB, I imagine you do meet nice people where ever you go. If you put it out there you will get it back. I come from a school of thought that believes people do drugs to self medicate - to mask pain that they can't deal with. It is often the highly sensitive people who find this world is just too much for them, they try and get sober but life is just too hard.
I had a dear friend with the most beautiful and sweet daughter named Lindsey. Lindsey was the youngest with a lovingl older brother and sister. Lindsey had no apparent reason to feel depressed - but Lindsey was oh so depressed. Her mother was a social worker and she tried everything. Lindsey tried every antidepressant - multiple hospitalizations and even electric shock therapy (yes they still sometimes try that) She was not born with the right brain chemistry.
If Lindsey had not been born into such a loving and informed family I am sure she would have turned to drugs. She could not find happiness. Lindsey suffered and her family suffered. She always said she wanted to be with "the Angels" Well poor Lindsey did not make it to her seventeenth birthday. She committed suicide and she is now with the angels. Her family was able to feel at peace as they were able to try everything they could. They knew Lindsey was too fragile for this world - she simply felt too much.
I think that even if a person doesn't start out with brain chemistry like Lindsey's hard drugs will mess your brain chemistry up. I think that one can damage the neurotransmitters that make us happy - and they will never get that back. I think that LSD did that to my daughters father - it destroyed his brain chemistry. he lost his ability to feel happy - I have heard that ecstasy can do that too. I imagine lots of drugs can do that. I sadly think, that for some addicts, death is the only freedom from their suffering. They do not have the strength for sobriety. It is too painful.
Oh my, enough on that sad note, I better shift focus and get some work done.
My love goes out to you guys.