Hi Debra- I'm so glad for you that you figured out what you truly wanted and I hope you live a long and happy life with Earnest.
I will say though, my experience has been quite different than yours. I've lived and worked in Jamaica for about 5.5 years now, and though I've had my difficulites, I've really enjoyed my time. When and if I leave, it will be most likely on my own accord and because of things like wanting to raise my children (that I don't yet have) with better schools, medical treatment and opportunities than many people have here in Jamaica.
I recently married a Jamaican man who I met and started a relationship shortly after moving to Jamaica 5.5 years ago. He's educated & has his own viable business. I have never been the provider for him.
Also, I want to point out that I don't live in a gated or rich community, I live in a housing scheme where I am the only white person. My husband and I didn't live together until we were married.
I too started my business from the ground up in Jamaica, went through the work permit and immigration hassles and my business not only subsisted but in the past couple of years has started to florish. I have no doubt that I am one of the lucky ones, but along with being lucky I worked my ass off for it too. I also took on lots of debt in the process, the first two years were hard as hell. I also didn't come down here with a load of cash, I was 27 when I moved to Jamaica, I had a couple thousand dollars and that was it. I was ignorant, and learned a lot in the whole process here.
I have serveral friends (American) that have long term relationships/marriages with Jamaican men that are flourishing as well (both in Jamaica and in the US). I agree with Suz very much about how disgusting it is to tar everyone with the same brush. To me culture is different than situation as well. For instance growing up with two parents that provide for their children and instill the moral that you don't go beg on the road for things, you work hard, save up and get what you need when you earn it is different say then the man that still walks the road with his two children (in nice, nice clothes) begging money for food for the kids. Now, I'm certainly not saying that there aren't people in horrible situations that their only option is to ask for help, but when you see the same man hauling his kids around from the time they were babies and they are wearing Nike shoes, it's kind of hard for me to believe he's actually tried to go and get a job and provide in a more "respectable" way.
Generally, the kids being raised in a stuation where they see their parents working hard for their money and saving for what they have are going to be more likely to do the same, where the kids seeing their parents beg, lie and use people for their benefit are going to most likely do the same.
Now, that's not to say some things aren't more culturally acceptable here, for instance cheating and violence against women (in a relationship), etc. But that's not everyone. To say that it's the culture to raise people to use others to get what they want? That maybe has been your experience, but certainly not mine.
I do get quite offended when people say all Jamaican people are a certain way because I too have lived in Jamaica, I have some great Jamaican friends, I have a great Jamaican husband, and I love my friends and family here dearly. And, I have quite a few Jamaican people that would do just about anything for me (and have), as I would them.
Another thing I will say is that I am friends with only one person I was friends with when I was coming on vacation here. Unfortuantely the Jamaican people most people meet as a tourist are exactly the type you're talking about. those are the ones going for the tourist, going for the naive, going for the inexperienced. That is too, unfortuatnely who I see a lot of tourists meeting when they start a relationship, but to classify a whole group of people that way is unfair and just plain wrong.
I guess what I'm saying is that your experience differs greatly from mine and I'm sorry to know yours didn't turn out to be a positive one, but don't label everyone the same because of the situation you faced. Know others have gone before and will go after, some who will face what you did, and some who will have a rich and gratifiying experience that they wouldn't change for the world.