07-18-2014, 11:31 AM
Ok enough is enough
I've been monitoring this conversation closely as it is such an emotional topic, I knew feelings could easily be hurt, and indeed they have.
Everyone here is entitled to an opinion, but no one is allowed to pass judgement on other people's characters. If we don't like what someone says, argue against what they are saying, but please avoid attacking the person who is attempting to state their own opinion. (does that make sense ?)
We are here for a discussion. We are not here to criticize other boardies - that is not tolerated.
Once again, as I sit watching this conservation evolve I am reminded how unique we all are and the fact that we all come from different cultures. In addition to our differences, we are hindered by the fact that we are trying to express ourselves through a keyboard - which can be is a real big challenge.
People feel misunderstood because their posts are not always understandable for others.
We are all different. Some people are capable of putting on blinders and living in a bubble. These people are able to not let things bother them and they see the good in most things. Others of us are more sensitive but can still have a good time when they know all things aren't "right." THey see the good and bad but can focus on the good most of the time. Then there are those of us who are highly sensitive and once we see the bad we can't ignore it. It almost becomes an obsession.
I tend to be of the third variety - If i was with Jitters, witnessing a man about to sell his daughter - i would never forget that image. It would haunt me. I tried to grow thick skin but it didn't work. I spent six years studying Social Work and never ended up practicing because I could not let go of the things I saw during my internships. That stuff still haunts me. It is clear that Macy has been haunted by things she witnessed in her past and has her own reasons to despise Jamaican men.
If Macy had found a good Jamaican man, like Westenders has done, she would have learned they are not all bad. Macy is smart and knows this, but her heart was broken by Jamaican men at a very young age, so she has put up walls to protect herself from them. She has plenty of family in Jamaica and that includes some good Men, but her first primal reaction is to shield herself from them. She is not criticizing anyones people - she is making generalized statements that came from her experiences growing up and then regularly visiting Jamaica.
We have watched (from our computer desks) Macy make efforts to go back and heal from her past - but while there - she sees so much ugly behavior - she is not healed she is revictimized.
This is HER REALITY.
Ive met Macy in real life, she is a kind hearted, generous and loving woman. She is funny and fun but to be honest - she talks fast and I found her hard to understand. When I read Macys posts - I love her spirit and energy, her zest for life - but I often don't completely understand the posts. It is simply that our cultural differences get in the way of our communication. It is nothing more or nothing less.
Westenders, you are new to this board and I think you are a terrific addition. I've enjoyed your posts and point of view. The thing is, a lot of people have come here because Jamaica has hurt them deeply. Many of us have a love/hate relationship with her because of the hurt. We go back and forth but the bad reminders are often very bad.
This board has become a place for people to talk about the good, the bad, and the ugly. There are other places to talk about the good but here we discuss it all. We all must understand that our experiences are all different. It is not our place to judge others experiences or to point out how they must have affected them. I believe when you first said this you were coming from a place of compassion, but that was misunderstood - and thats when things went downhill.
So it took me an entire hour to write this post.
It is very hard to try and express something in a manner that all will understand.
I have to head out to swim class or Id be here another hour making this as clear as I can.
I say this to illustrate a point, its not easy to be understood through a keyboard.
Please don't judge other's as your interpretation of their posts may be completely opposite from what they are trying to say.
Ok did I make sense.
I love you all of you bird brains - now have a good day!! (this is a joke and another illustration of my point - it sounds fine in my mind, but it does not really work on paper)
I've been monitoring this conversation closely as it is such an emotional topic, I knew feelings could easily be hurt, and indeed they have.
Everyone here is entitled to an opinion, but no one is allowed to pass judgement on other people's characters. If we don't like what someone says, argue against what they are saying, but please avoid attacking the person who is attempting to state their own opinion. (does that make sense ?)
We are here for a discussion. We are not here to criticize other boardies - that is not tolerated.
Once again, as I sit watching this conservation evolve I am reminded how unique we all are and the fact that we all come from different cultures. In addition to our differences, we are hindered by the fact that we are trying to express ourselves through a keyboard - which can be is a real big challenge.
People feel misunderstood because their posts are not always understandable for others.
We are all different. Some people are capable of putting on blinders and living in a bubble. These people are able to not let things bother them and they see the good in most things. Others of us are more sensitive but can still have a good time when they know all things aren't "right." THey see the good and bad but can focus on the good most of the time. Then there are those of us who are highly sensitive and once we see the bad we can't ignore it. It almost becomes an obsession.
I tend to be of the third variety - If i was with Jitters, witnessing a man about to sell his daughter - i would never forget that image. It would haunt me. I tried to grow thick skin but it didn't work. I spent six years studying Social Work and never ended up practicing because I could not let go of the things I saw during my internships. That stuff still haunts me. It is clear that Macy has been haunted by things she witnessed in her past and has her own reasons to despise Jamaican men.
If Macy had found a good Jamaican man, like Westenders has done, she would have learned they are not all bad. Macy is smart and knows this, but her heart was broken by Jamaican men at a very young age, so she has put up walls to protect herself from them. She has plenty of family in Jamaica and that includes some good Men, but her first primal reaction is to shield herself from them. She is not criticizing anyones people - she is making generalized statements that came from her experiences growing up and then regularly visiting Jamaica.
We have watched (from our computer desks) Macy make efforts to go back and heal from her past - but while there - she sees so much ugly behavior - she is not healed she is revictimized.
This is HER REALITY.
Ive met Macy in real life, she is a kind hearted, generous and loving woman. She is funny and fun but to be honest - she talks fast and I found her hard to understand. When I read Macys posts - I love her spirit and energy, her zest for life - but I often don't completely understand the posts. It is simply that our cultural differences get in the way of our communication. It is nothing more or nothing less.
Westenders, you are new to this board and I think you are a terrific addition. I've enjoyed your posts and point of view. The thing is, a lot of people have come here because Jamaica has hurt them deeply. Many of us have a love/hate relationship with her because of the hurt. We go back and forth but the bad reminders are often very bad.
This board has become a place for people to talk about the good, the bad, and the ugly. There are other places to talk about the good but here we discuss it all. We all must understand that our experiences are all different. It is not our place to judge others experiences or to point out how they must have affected them. I believe when you first said this you were coming from a place of compassion, but that was misunderstood - and thats when things went downhill.
So it took me an entire hour to write this post.
It is very hard to try and express something in a manner that all will understand.
I have to head out to swim class or Id be here another hour making this as clear as I can.
I say this to illustrate a point, its not easy to be understood through a keyboard.
Please don't judge other's as your interpretation of their posts may be completely opposite from what they are trying to say.
Ok did I make sense.
I love you all of you bird brains - now have a good day!! (this is a joke and another illustration of my point - it sounds fine in my mind, but it does not really work on paper)