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Jamericans
What would you do? - Printable Version

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What would you do? - JimandDonna - 04-16-2012

A VERY DEAR friend is close to dying(cancer). We leave on Saturday. Would you want to be notified at the passing? Would you come home? She is so dear to me I was her birthing coach for her sweet baby girl! My emotions are all mixed up.


Re: What would you do? - wendy - 04-16-2012

me....
yes to the wanting to be notified.
and yes, i would travel back for my dear good friend.

so that said, if shes really really good friend.....think you've answered your own question. negril will always be there, ya know.

until recently i have never bought trip insurance til the last few years, father-in-law died a few years back while i was in negril. i really didn't want to go back home but knew i would get my a$$ chewed if i didn't. Smile

sorry to hear about your friend....Sad


Re: What would you do? - Pineapple - 04-16-2012

I was notified that a very close friend died very suddenly when I was in Ochi one year. I wished I'd had trip insurance. It's not about being there for the person who passed but for those who are left behind. I did get home in time to attend the furneral but I still wished I'd been there sooner for her husband. Friends told me he kept saying "Jan would know what to do".

To answer your question -If you aren't planning on cutting your vacation short and return if this happens, ask people not to tell you. I was so miserable the rest of my time in Jamaica.


Re: What would you do? - rastagirl777 - 04-17-2012

I would want to and have been notified of deaths of friends or family while in Jamaica. I'm there for the winter and for a while it seemed that every winter we lost someone. Never anyone too close to us where we had to fly anywhere but I always have a stash of frequent flyer miles available should we ever need to - from Jamaica OR California.

In the times I've been away and lost someone its been a comfort to be around my friends in JA - and to have a nice quiet place to sit, reflect on beauty and blessings and give some undivided time and thought to the friend I'd lost.

In your situation, with a close friend who is close to the end - I might think about postponing my trip to be with the family. But there's a second school of thought - your friend is already transitioning, close to the end, close to the end of her pain. See her now - tell her everything you want to tell her. See her children, husband, family - tell them everything too. Then go in peace on your vacation to your blessed place, prepared for ritual when the time comes, if it comes while you are away.

Bless you and your friend.


Re: What would you do? - wit - 04-17-2012

jim/donna....I don't know you personally but feel your vibe here on the board. I know you're a kind person. You have to do what you can live with. Matters not what I'd do. I'll leave you with this thought.....if you can replace something it has no value...if you cannot it's priceless. I'm sorry for your friend and your pending loss.


Re: What would you do? - Yamangurl - 04-17-2012

So sorry to hear about this, but I think you are doing the right thing and she sounds like an understanding, wonderful friend who only wants your happiness!
It is wonderful that you have been able to pour your heart out to her before she passes so that nothing is left unsaid.


Re: What would you do? - rootswoman - 04-17-2012

How very sad Donna, I'm so sorry you are going through this.

I think you are wise to go - I think If I were the one facing deaths door I would feel bad if my friend canceled her trip - you need to do what you do for yourself to be good at your work. Taking care of children is exhausting - I am sure you need a vacation as well as a little time away from the sadness of your dear friends situation.

Please don't feel guilty - you are going to be the one left here missing her - that requires strength.

Go have some fun with your hubby -.

love and hugs


Re: What would you do? - Jenny - 04-17-2012

My heart goes out to you, dear Donna! This is a sad time, for sure. I can only say how I myself would handle this. Yes, I would want to know, via an e-mail. However, I would not cut my hard-earned vacation short to go back. If it were me on death's door, I would NOT want anybody doing this! However, I would have some times on my vacation when I would remember this person, speak about her aloud with Jim, especially when the sun was setting. I would send out comfort & strength for the family & friends who were mourning her. I say....go!


Re: What would you do? - Angel - 04-18-2012

Jim and Donna go and have a wonderful trip. Hopefully you will see her upon your return. There are some things in life we can't control. Sorry she is sick, never easy to loose someone.