It seems that I have offended my friends Rob and Lisa, seeing as they both have distanced themselves from me. In looking at any possible explanation, I think back to the nastiness that was permeating throughout this forum during the time of Rob’s transition to oversee his board by himself. I can honestly say that any comments I made here were not accusations, nor were they mean hearted, so I have to delve into my head for other possible reasons. I publicly stated at the time that Rob could run his business any way he desired – and I was looking at that from a business owner’s point of view. I also stated that I disagreed with a few of his rules, but again, they were his rules on his board. The only time I was directly asked a question by one of you about whether I thought something that was said to Jenny was appropriate, I did say no – if in fact he had written what I felt was a mean note, that he should apologize to her … but I also stated at that time we didn’t know what was happening in his life at the time the note was written, and maybe he was just tired of the nonsense and having a bad day. Actually, that was none of my business – or anyone else’s except Jenny. What I am confused about is what actually happened to a rational group of intelligent people, that adults somehow felt as though they needed to choose sides, as though we are junior high kids in a fight.
I consider Tammy an intelligent, honest friend, and she has chosen to give people a forum that was born of and for different reasons than Rob’s was. Some of you are friends of mine, I am acquainted with a few more, and some are simply posters on this board, and that’s the only thing we have in common. This board is a gift from Tammy for more seasoned travelers, and has a respected place in my life and experiences. She spends lots of time and money on a gift that in no way benefits her, to my knowledge.
I think we forgot that Rob designed his board as a business, a tourism tool that helps the JA local economy, provides him (and now Lisa, with her expertise and people skills) an actual (hopefully) income earning job that allows him to live in a tough but lovely place that he loves. He has given practical and needed advice to tourists for many years. I would not have been nearly as comfortable on my first visit to JA had Rob’s board not been there to answer my many questions, and address the many hesitations that crept into my decision to travel to a place many consider “dangerous”. With Rob’s board actually existing, with advice/discussion from him and many boardies both experienced and some as virgin as I, I went to JA much better informed and prepared to deal with situations I had never been in previously. I had places to visit I’d heard of from you, or someone like you. I knew the places boardies liked for eating/staying/drinking. I knew to expect higglers, 40 leggers, drug dealers, and how to deal with them. I look at his board now, and I may yawn at the repetition of the questions/answers, but those questions are not mundane to the traveler asking that question! In addition, I still have questions I need answered between my two visits/year, such as the new location of the doctor, the current route taxi prices, etc – and I get prompt accurate information there. Were I a newbie struggling with overcoming travel agents scare tactics re: crime, needing to stay at AI’s for safety etc, and I stumbled on a discussion about a recent brutal crime against another human, even though it might be truthful and accurate, excepting it would be an extremely rare incident to involve a tourist, it would absolutely make me question my choice of vacation destination. Notice I said “as a newbie”… again, us oldtimers are not the demographic Rob’s board is attracting.

So, as intelligent adults, I believe that Rob and Lisa know things outside of their vast knowledge of Negril. I think they know that the only people in anyone’s individual life that an absolute line should be drawn in the sand for are one’s spouse/children. We are not clones, none of us think exactly the same way, some are more reason oriented, and some more emotionally oriented. I know that everyone has a differing opinion on EVERYTHING, small or large, and I know that friendship and mutual respect are intrinsic to an honest ongoing relationship. I have considered Rob a needed genius with issues I’ve had. I have laughed with him and Lisa, and I have cried with them as well. I have been, and am proud to call them friends.

Why am I putting this out here instead of writing a personal email to them, you ask? In hindsight, knowing that I stayed objective and defended Rob’s decisions, I have found myself “wondering” if any lurkers on this board wrote untrue or poisoned points of view allegedly mine to either Rob or Lisa. I want to tell them publicly that I have never discussed anything about his board with anyone that I haven’t publicly written. I want to tell them if anyone claims such a thing, I am calling them out right now and right here and calling them troubled liars.

I did not, and will not choose some sort of “alliance”. I visit 3 boards on a regular basis. All offer something different, and are important in my daily dreary life.

I am human, I am truthful, and I am saddened that something weird has come between myself and two people whom I love and respect.

So, Lisa and Rob, if you ever check in on this board, I am publicly telling you that if I offended you I am sorry, and if someone with some mean ulterior motive has made you wonder about me, I’d like to know about it so I can just as publicly call them out as an instigator/liar.

This needs no commentary; this serves only to clarify my own feelings. Most of you know I wear my heart on my sleeve ☺
I am saddened beyond words, and I truly feel an ache in my heart. The WWW is a powerful place, and can be as hurtful as it is helpful.

Tammy, thank you for allowing me this plea on your forum. xoxo

Selvin, thanks for all your hard work both on N.com for all that time, and here on this board as well. It does not go un-noticed or unappreciated, at least by me. xoxo

"I think we forgot that Rob designed his board as a business"

umm I have never forgotten over there is a business. I can only speak for myself.

Interesting post. Sorry you were hurt.

never wanted to say anything about r and l either...my good friends or so i thought...we spent many a great evenings together...supporting each other with the living in ja thing...because of the same reasons as jabailey has stated i have been disbanded....now i am the druggy, drunk, what have u....ya living in negril is an endless party which can lead you down the wrong path at times...i just went into the realnegril chat and it sure was chilly in there....i did nothing wrong to them either...so feel no guilt whatsover in saying this...true friends are hard to find...some only need you when they need something from you...apparently now i am not needed for anything....whatever...it still hurts...i am human, just as they, but, but, would at least have the balls to say it to my face and not bash me around negril and try to make conflicts with some of my friends there...rob has a great business there...i get that...i have never said anything to the contrary...so they can carry on with what they do it will not affect my life...i know who i am...and i know who my friends are in negril....looking in the mirror can be painful, running is much easier no....ya, thats it....

jabailey-I'd like to send you a private note about this matter...if you'd like to correspond please email me at nikkikamens@hotmail.com.

Peace.

Jabaily - With so many of us being band from n.com - did you really think posting here about R&L wouldn't stir the pot? If you have already contacted them via e-mail, do you think this message is going to make a difference?

I really should have been smart and never openned this message - the subject line should have had me running the other direction.

Tammy - after all the grief you just went through with those two, you are a saint letting this message post.