I need some advice on something that has been niggling the back of my head and bugging me for some time now, and just want to get it resolved...it's kinda a long story, so let me begin at the beginning.

In July of '07, I was robbed of my money only two days before I was scheduled to go to Negril. Thank God I had done AI that time, at Coral Seas Garden for three nights and Coral Seas Cliffs for four nights, or I might not have even been able to go..I had a sum total of $134 dollars for seven nights..

When I was staying on the cliffs, I was walking on the road, and checked out the line of craft shops across the street from Rock House. I had a twenty dollar bill, and was bound and determined to get at least one souvenir to take home with me. I was at one stall, and there was this woman who said to call her "Auntie" and she was trying to get me to buy this and that and I told her that I just didn't have the money for all that I wanted, and after looking at more stalls, went to the little bar they have there, got a red stripe, and was making convo with a few of the guys there, including a Canadian expat (cannot remember his name) and Bobo, a carver who had his stall right next to the little bar, (I think!) well, one thing led to another, and I was invited behind the craft shops to take a few tokes of a rather large spliff being offered up. At that point, I got the munchies, and decided to order a few more red stripes and a snack and skip the souvenir. In the course of the convo, I explained what had happened to me about being robbed and next thing I knew, Auntie was making an offer that I could pick souvenirs from her shop and then mail her the money for it the next month. Bobo said I could do the same for his shop too, and then western union the money to Auntie and she would give him his share too..

So I very happily went shopping on the installment plan. Got about sixty dollars worth of stuff from "Auntie's" store, and about forty dollars of stuff from Bobo's. I was really stoked to be able to bring home souvenirs, needless to say.

When I got home, I couldn't find the slip of paper with Auntie's name on it, so I got online (at Trip Advisor I think, but it might have been the old Negril.com, can't remember, it's been a while, but anyway, I ask anyone that is going to be in Negril if they could go to the craft stall and get the address so I could mail the money. I wasn't able to send it in August because I didn't get the address in enough time, but wired the money to Auntie the following month in September, plus another twenty on top of what I had said I would pay for being a month late, and thought the issue resolved.

I went back to Negril in November of '07, and while I did see Bobo again, he didn't mention anything about me owing any money, so again, I thought everything was resolved. Imagine my surprise when, some months after I had gotten back from that trip, I got a notice on TA that Bobo was still waiting for his money, and wondered when he would get it, and was chewed out by the poster who had given the info. At that point, I asked for Bob's legal name and info to be given to me so I could send it directly to him. I then did so, and sent $80, twice what was originally owed. I lost the slip of paper I had that info on, so don't have it anymore.

My next trip, I was pretty po'd at "Auntie" for not giving his share of what I had orignally sent, and decided not to even go there to those craft stalls at all, but then when I got back from my last trip, started second guessing myself..what if that guy that posted that on TA was not legit?? How can I find out if Bobo actually really did get the money that was sent??? And if he says he didn't get it, then what do I do???

So now that time is drawing near for my next trip, for some reason, I just can't stop thinking about it..and it has been bugging me..especially since last time I saw him, he never even mentioned it, but he could have just been being polite and not wanting to bring it up to not make me feel uncomfortable....I just don't know..I mean, this was a few years back, but if he says I still owe him money, I would rather put it right into his hands than take another chance on wiring money, you know? (and if he didn't get that second wire, who did???)

Anyway, should I wait until I get there to find out, or would it be best if I found out what is up with that beforehand? And how do I even know if I actually still owe him the money? The only thing I know for sure is that "Auntie" kept the share that was supposed to go to him originally for herself. Thing is, when I go down again I am going to be on an EXTREMLY tight budget, and cannot afford to keep paying for the same things I got over and over again, but at the same time don't want to be viewed as someone who doesn't pay what is owed, as the only thing I have in this life that cannot be taken away by anyone else is my word..

So I really need advice on what would be the best thing to do. My gut is saying that Bobo really didn't get any of the money I had sent to Auntie, but I don't know what to think about the next wire I sent out a while later..I just hope I didn't get taken again, and that he actually got it this time. I am hoping that maybe someone in Negril would go down there and talk to him to see what is going on so I can find out..

this is Bobo:

Something similar happened to me a year or two ago. I sent money down with someone to pay a friend in the yard who had cleaned the house. When I got down I assumed it was all taken care of.

The friend didn't say anything and I thought everything was good. Until one afternoon she came over and had had a likkle too much rum. LOL! She was going on and on about something and I didn't understand what the hell she was talking about. A couple days later I asked her to clean again and went to pay her and finally said what about the rest? Rest? Didn't you get the 'other' money I sent you. She said yes, but not all of it. LAWD......

We got it sorted out, but the lessen here was, always ask the person. Don't assume.

I have also had to say to people, sorry but I sent it and it no longer has to do with me. You need to go to the person and discuss it... Sucks cause as most of you know, alot of Jamaicans in Ja with not deal straight up with one another.

Take Auntie over to Bobo's shop and ask the question in front of both of them.That way if Auntie didn't pay Bobo then he can take care of it. Maybe Auntie did pay Bobo.You did your part.Show him the transaction slip,deal done.

Ouch...........

Without a doubt Jamaican has a lot of need but it's also laced with greed, wantie, wantie and beggie, beggie. I am NOT using my vacation time to figure out which is which. I am courteous and tip generously to those who are paid to serve or entertain me, but not looking for friendships.

How to STOP the begging, easily but another thread. Heck, I could have them giving me stuff, even a FREE ride to the Palladium with the sand that they stole:-)

Asking doesn't mean you expect to get. It simply creates an opportunity for others to give or have them running in the other direction. Remember some ask out of need, others out of greed or habit.

Debra- honestly I think (still do) some on TA thought they were better than me. No one with class and decent upbringing(their exact words) would be proud to say that they ask for anything, even an upgrade at an overpriced resort. Quoting Matthew 7 vs 7 did not help, Ask and it shall be given:-))))))))

Now, saying NO is not always EASY. You are at a time when you are feeling happy and blessed to be able to leave your issues behind for awhile. Leaving yours, shouldn't mean that you take on everyone elses.

Someone told me long ago when I was telling her that a family had NOT paid for the babysitting. That always to remember they are being "FRIENDLY", because they NEED YOU. It does NOT mean that they are "FRIENDS". Now I must apply that to Jamaica "Friends".