I got this on email this morning !
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Mi deh yah ah tink and realize seh Jamaican people dem reely different yuh nuh? Mi love dem... still dere are some tings yuh woulda neva see wi a do, hear seh wi ah seh or even attempt fi try.

Now Tek fi instance....

Yuh eva see Jamaicans a climb mountain wid flag and claim victory when dem reach de top?

Yuh eva see we ah hang out inna di miggle ah
di Amazon jungle? Fi wah reason???

You ever see we a jump outta plane wid one parachute or a boast seh we going bungee jumping next Sunday?

Yuh eva see we inna sea, bout we looking fi di Great White Shark? No sah - wi watch it pon TV

Yuh eva hear a J'can in ah Search & Rescue pan mountain. A mi sen dem up mountain? Dem find dem way up , dem fe find dem way back again.Idiat dem! A nature way fe feed de weak and hungry animal up deh!

Yuh eva see a Jamaican acting pon big screen going into a haunted house and asking ... Trevah you in deh?' If him foolish enuf fi go ina di haunted house him an di duppy dem can tan in deh.

Yuh eva hear a Jamaican man seh ... 'no honey.... no need to cook rice and peas wid oxtail and a little chicken pon a Sunday.... mek wi eat a light salad instead.' Try yuh best... not pon yu life.

Yuh eva si a Jamaican come a work an tell everybody dem bizniz.... how dem neva bade dis mawnin, jus brush teet and wash face....

Yuh eva si a Jamaican wey luv talk over people food.... put dem face inna it an sey dat looks and smell good? No sah! Dat wi cause fight.

Yuh eva see a Jamaican go inna di company fridge and go tek weh next person sangwige and nyam it off?

Yuh eva hear Jamaican pickney tell dem madda fi shut up and di Madda go tek seat inna kitchen, tek out cigarette start smoke and seh she nuh know wah fi do wid di pickney? No... One helleba slap crass him face fi sure. An if dem live inna farign dem sen dem to Jamaica fi di summer and den di odder relatives fix dem bizniz and dem go back wid mannaz.

Yuh eva see Jamaican tek meat outta fridge and stick it inna oven widout lickle seasoning?

Yuh eva hear Jamaican inna di werk place ah talk bout how much time him wife mek him sleep pon di couch? Crazy tings dat, cause even if she shut di door she expect him fi kick it open.

Yuh eva see Jamaican people a cook and dem stir di pot, taste di food and put di same spoon right back inna di pot an nuh wash it off??? No sah, dat a nastiness...

Yuh eva si a Jamaican have dem dog a lick dem face? Yuh mad?

Yuh eva see yawd people have dem dog sleep inna di same bed wid dem? Or dawg inna di couch and when dawg get up dem go lay down innna di same couch inna di same spat? Not fi wi Jamaican!!!!

Yuh eva see yawd people kiss dem dawg pon di mout?

Yuh eva hear seh yawd people tek 5 days off from work because dem puss dead?

Yuh eva hear a Jamaican madda innna a store a tell dem pickney 'no sweetheart, you can't have that, please put it back on the shelf'. Instead, yuh will hear someting like dis ...'lissen yah pickney, mi nah walk a street an pick up money, put dung di blassted sweetie dem an no badda mi peace tiday, yuh hear mi'?

Yuh eva see Jamaican do any wuk afta dem get pay pon Friday. All di manager dem a play domino round a back, not to mention ludo and draft.

We a Jamaican.... ah suh wi d'weet.. Wi nuh normal.. wi well different from all odda peoples!

A so di ting set. A so di ting stay...

Jamaicans Indeed!!!! A so wi stay fi true?

OMG that Has me Laughing!!!! I love this

LOL! Good one!

i just had to come out of the closet to say thanks for the best laugh
i fell off mi chair

Matt you sound just like my jamaican granmama