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Jamericans
Well..it's true !! - Printable Version

+- Jamericans (https://jamericans.net/yellowboard)
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+--- Thread: Well..it's true !! (/showthread.php?tid=100504)

Pages: 1 2

Well..it's true !! - oldtimer - 08-19-2014

20 TOP ZEN TEACHINGS

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just bugger off and leave me alone.


2. Sex is like air. It's not that important unless you aren't getting any.


3. No one is listening until you pass wind.


4. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.


5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.


6. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.


7. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.


8. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.


9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.


10. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it.


11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.


12. Some days you are the dog, some days you are the tree.


13. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.


14. Good judgment comes from bad experience ... And most of that comes from bad judgment.


15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.


16. There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works.



17. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.


18. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.


19. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our arse - then things just keep getting worse.


20. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

RE: Well..it's true !! - Angel - 08-19-2014

Thank you Oldtimer so did you sit in the boat and drink beer all day? Hehe! A few of those I've heard before, I had a good laugh.

RE: Well..it's true !! - Winni - 08-19-2014

ahhh the joy have sitting in a boat and drinking beer.....Emot2

RE: Well..it's true !! - oldtimer - 08-19-2014

you guys are on to me !!!!....hehehe

RE: Well..it's true !! - Pineapple - 08-19-2014

LOVED it!

RE: Well..it's true !! - kylake - 08-19-2014

Too funny!

RE: Well..it's true !! - Raine - 08-19-2014

Liked them Smile

RE: Well..it's true !! - Schuttzie - 08-20-2014

These are great!

RE: Well..it's true !! - Westenders - 08-20-2014

So funny and so true.

Number 16... glad you know lol

RE: Well..it's true !! - Tim - 08-20-2014

#9 is spot on for me. Sitting in a boat all day fishing and drinking beer is my specialty.