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My Vagina Isn't Public Property (Article) - macyoder - 08-03-2014
http://jamaica-gleaner.com/gleaner/20140803/focus/focus1.html
My Vagina Isn't Public Property
JAMAICA GLEANER
Published: Sunday | August 3, 2014
By: Karen Lloyd, GUEST COLUMNIST
My Vagina Isn't Public Property
"TWO Thursdays ago, I left the comfort of my home to do some business. As I stood by the roadside waiting for a chance to get across the street, a man drove by and squeezed my breast. In my shock and anger, I slapped him across the face, only to be greeted with his equally shocked, "My girl, yuh serious, eeh? A ramp mi a ramp wid yuh 'cause yuh body look so good!"
Presumably my body is a toy - which he has given himself authority to play with at his whim and fancy.
This incident is not an anomaly. I have had men rub my thigh while using public transportation, touch me inappropriately, and then curse at me when I voice my objections to their 'caress'. The list of painful experiences goes on ad nauseam.
This is not only a personal issue, it is a societal problem. The vast majority of Jamaican women are harassed daily on the street by men who believe they have some inherent right to women's bodies. All my female friends share similar experiences on a regular basis. It is quite common for us to use a substantial amount of the time we spend together voicing our frustration and disappointment in how draining and dangerous it is to simply get from Point A to Point B.
I can't overstate how frightening it is, as a woman (and a petite one at that), to traverse public spaces. Having men chase you, even as
you ignore them or explicitly affirm that you are uninterested in their advances, is one of the most dreadful things you can experience.
A man's bruised ego could, and often does, mean verbal, physical and/or sexual violence. Many women, myself included, try desperately not to offend men by pretending to be interested in their mundane and often offensive babble as we go about our business. How sad it is that one should feel obligated to pander to unsolicited and unwanted sexual advances out of fear!
Dealing with street harassment is a major consideration whenever I have to go on the road by myself - not that the company of other women necessarily deters these alarming behaviours. If you're 'lucky' enough to be walking with a man, it may spare you such an ordeal. Out of respect for the man - not you - street harassment tends to be less overt.
Even more frightening is the fact that we hardly take street and sexual harassment seriously. Men will continue to grab at and grope women in public because it is not a 'big deal' and is usually met with impunity at best, and a 'forward' at worst, by onlookers. I once witnessed a man grab a woman's pubic area in Half-Way Tree, in his effort to figure out if "all a da buffness deh a really [fi har]". To my dismay, the group of taxi men and other onlookers laughed, while others looked away as the woman, obviously shaken up, held down her head and walked away feeling disgraced.
Sexual harassment is a serious problem. We must begin to take stock of the negative impact it has on women and society. Catcalling is generally seen as a legitimate way for men to 'pick up' women. We fail to realise that this is demeaning and often leads to unimaginable verbal abuse if a favourable response is not forthcoming.
It limits women's ability to operate in the public sphere as often, or as comfortably, as most men. Furthermore, it can lead to sexual violence, which does not operate in a vacuum. It stems, in part, from the fact that women are seen as sexual prey to be conquered. The flawed ideas of masculinity we continue to enable and foster in our boys and men are detrimental to women's self-realisation.
I do believe, however, that men are quite capable of respecting women and their personal space, including their bodies. In order to fix this problem, we must first raise our dismally low expectations and demands of men. There is nothing particularly ambitious in expecting one human being to respect the autonomy of another human being, therefore acting in such a way that honours the other's right to self-determination.
Perhaps I am asking for too much, but one day, I would like to be able to go through my day freely, without being treated like a piece of meat to be positioned, handled and devoured.
Karen A. Lloyd is a human-rights advocate. Email feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com and karen.lloyd88@gmail.com.
Source: http://jamaica-gleaner.com/gleaner/20140803/focus/focus1.html"
RE: My Vagina Isn't Public Property (Article) - macyoder - 08-04-2014
"The vast majority of Jamaican women are harassed daily on the street by men who believe they have some inherent right to women's bodies. "
I know this is Ok for some females but not everyone and definitely not for some of our daughters. Yes, wearing a simple high/low asymmetrical dress can be seen as an invitation. One more thing that must change.
Oh yeah this too happens all over, right???
RE: My Vagina Isn't Public Property (Article) - Schuttzie - 08-04-2014
Wow! I think my arm and hand would get tired from slapping everyone. No way is that acceptable!
I was propositioned once in Porty (just verbal) and he was a bit drunk and I kindly told him no thank you that I'm here with my husband. The next day he was very timid and I think ashamed of himself keeping his head down and averting my eyes. If it happened again, I would have been very angry and done something about it.
RE: My Vagina Isn't Public Property (Article) - macyoder - 08-04-2014
After a while many of us simply get tired. Tired of being bombarded with advances and tired of those who accept it, blaming your attitude.
I was in Negril and thought declaring that I was married would be the end of the rubbish. He went on to say, so you are here to give your husband a bun. We aren't talking about bun and cheese. With my husband, I am often seen by some (NOT ALL) as a whore or a prostitute. A whore for marrying a white man or a prostitute because that's the only reason a white man would have anything to do with a local
This article was posted on a board addressing the real problems facing Jamaicans.
RE: My Vagina Isn't Public Property (Article) - Schuttzie - 08-04-2014
Thank you, Macy, for the article.
RE: My Vagina Isn't Public Property (Article) - Flintstone - 08-04-2014
The level of machoism? among Jamaican men is very high. I`ve seen many a clown try to pick up my wife when I was swimming or several meters away. I wonder, if as you often state that so many men have babies that they do not support, aren't they raised in a home where the mother is the head of the home ? If so isn't it up to the parent (mother) to instill respect for women to their children ? I`ve noticed while growing up that children raised by a woman have more respect for women and behave differently than 2 parent kids. Even just having sisters will greatly change a boys outlook .
RE: My Vagina Isn't Public Property (Article) - macyoder - 08-04-2014
Wow, eventually, not sure today is the best, WE mothers have to take responsibility for the sons WE raised. These men might be treating women based on the things they see US mothers tolerate.
I agree about other men raised by single mothers. Now, whenever the discussion of Jamaican men comes up someone always take it to mean BLACK men which is NOT the case. Many other black men who were raised by single mothers adore their mother and truly respect women.
RE: My Vagina Isn't Public Property (Article) - macyoder - 08-04-2014
For whatever reason as a female, mother, and wife, I can't recall a time or place I have felt more disrespected then dealing with some Jamaican (not saying black) men . This is true for so many females as the article states. I understand it's not all, just too many .
RE: My Vagina Isn't Public Property (Article) - JonTom - 08-05-2014
"Vagina Not Public Property, But Are Women Asking For It?"
http://jamaica-gleaner.com/gleaner/20140805/letters/letters2.html
Really? I understand there are some very conservative (traditional?) sectors of JA society, but did they need to publish this viewpoint?
Perhaps it is intentionally provocative.
RE: My Vagina Isn't Public Property (Article) - Schuttzie - 08-05-2014
Wow! So they think it's the woman's fault!?