fatty wrote:

'
Two things I find myself saying more and more lately:
1.) Jamaica has enough poor people...they don't need to import needy people from other countries. (If you can't afford to be in Jamaica...stay home - simple!!)
2.) I can pretty much handle the Jamaican hustlers...it's the tourist hustlers I have to watch out for.'

DAMN-- and here I had Smokey and I a nice little bag packed. We were thinking we would just roll on in and Fatty would fed us all winter-LOL

for me it has more to do with how you ask...doesnt mean i'm still goinn to give you anythign but asking politely and asking or more like demanding with a sense of entitlement-well THAT gets to me..

The one thing that does bother me-it seems when people are given gifts,or money,etc -that getting a sincere "thank you"or similar does not follow-I'm guessing its more a cultural thing...??

Jamaica does have a welfare system, it is called PATH. There also used to be a food stamp program.

Don't worry Mac- my kindness will never be mistaken for weakness again because it is over and done. The only things in my bags will be MY things that come with me and go home with me. Strictly vacation.

Oh, and by the way, can ya tell me what I should stop doing so I don't get offers of sex and drugs also? What should I stop doing to make sure I don't get thiefed? What should I stop doing to make sure my orders are correct? Ahhh yes, it is the culture....... I should stop going. I KNOW I should stop going.........

My dear friend has a soft spot for tourist women "wanting" the "real" Jamaica experience but not having enough money to actually rent a place. She then "trades" a bit of gardening and house sitting so that they can use the few funds they have on the latest Jamaican "boyfriend" and a box of mac and cheese. They leave her house dirty, they split and don't tell her (i.e., making a 3 month committment and taking off after 2 months because the boyfriend ran through her meager funds much sooner than she expected). She then arrives on the island having to scrub her home top to bottom, with no idea who has been there to hear stories about her "charge" running rampant around town with a rent-a-dread.

I'm glad to say my friend learned her lesson, changed the locks and fortified her gate. But opportunists are everywhere, preying on good hearted people like my friend and Pineapple. And it sucks...period. Its really too bad when you can't trust someone to put ONE drink on your tab. Cho.

"...changed the locks"....boy you sure can take that more ways than one !!!!

Macyoder you are doing generous things and get things done. Wouldn't call it begging.

I am reminded constantly of something my grandmother always said:

"No good deed goes unpunished".

I am straining my brain to try to remember if I've ever felt taken advantage of, begged upon (in the manner discussed here where a friend of a friend asks for something either to bring down or leave behind when I go) and I honestly can't think of a thing. I've enjoyed my friendships with my many Jamaican friends treating them to gifts when I can, receiving gifts from them when they can...and no one over-reaching or asking for anything. Sure, I'll reach out to see what someone might need for me to bring and if there is a need it is never over the top (i.e., can you bring me a pair of simple shoes, not $200 Nikes).

Have I been begged upon on the street? Oh, you bet. I have been approached to buy just about everything from a seashell to an ounce of cocaine...and the answer is always the same - no thank you+smile. When I'm in Negril I truly do not sweat the small stuff...the same kind of "buy me a beer", "give me 100J", "give me a cigarette" rolls off my back like water on a duck there....in San Francisco while I'm outside TRYING to enjoy a cigarette and having someone ask me for something 7 times in 5 minutes I get grouchy. Doesn't mean I'm never going back there. It is what it is.

I think I've learned to affect change where I can and to let it go when I can't. These days there are some things about Negril that are simply not going to change. But because I love it there, I love my friends and community there to me, at this time, not returning is not an option. I try really hard not to let the little stuff get to me and minimize my exposure to the more irritating stuff.